either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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