You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
