I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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