okay pat passed out under dana's car
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
