So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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