I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
either way he was missing a nipple.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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