She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
