She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
