The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
