That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
