Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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