What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
