Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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