ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
