Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
