Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
