i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
