Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
