her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
