if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
