i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
