I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My vagina just recognized that song.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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