people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
