Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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