At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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