how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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