spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize