Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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