i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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