I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
