in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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