I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
