so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
