You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
