fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
