just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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