I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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