I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
