His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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