I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize