You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
