It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He kissed a someone with a penis
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
