I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
