FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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