i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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