There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize