And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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