is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think weed is turning my hair brown
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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