this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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