just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
