So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will die if light touches me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
