if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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