Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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