I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
