i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
