I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
