as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
