In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
