Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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