he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
