it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
