I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
